I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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