It's Friday. Sex?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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