i don't like sucking hair
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
