Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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