Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
