some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
