he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
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I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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