I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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