Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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