i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
