That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
