rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
