I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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