well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
