hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
