he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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