Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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