I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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