we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
