Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
