So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
