Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
