i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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