Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
