My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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