We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
