he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
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So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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