exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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