All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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