So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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