garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That accounts for only three of the penises
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
