im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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