If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
