I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
