Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
