Christians are straight up FREAKS
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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