Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
