my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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