And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
