my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
