he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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