did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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