Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
