You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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