Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
