Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
