I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
