I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
