she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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