Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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