Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
