I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
