it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize