So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
