Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
