I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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