Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
