I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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