I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
