I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
