it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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